How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
