My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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