I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
