Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I need to align my fucking chakras
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
