No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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