i don't like sucking hair
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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