she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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