what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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