The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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