You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
