don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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