$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize