You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
