Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
