I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
