I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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