Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
