That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
