So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
