You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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