Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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