Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
