I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
