I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's Friday. Sex?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
