We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
