i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away