watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
last night I used snow as a chaser
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
