mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.