just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening