you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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