I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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