but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
