i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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