She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
