This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
