All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
