Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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