Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
