The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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