Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
