If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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