At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
