he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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