Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
