last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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