you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
