What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
