went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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