come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
