That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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