So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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