that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
