Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
