I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
