no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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