He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
