I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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