i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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