I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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