Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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